The only rules at Death Cafe Cymru are that people respect each other and listen, and that everything participants say is confidential.
A lot of the discussion is people sharing personal anecdotes or information, she adds. For example, in one session the group talked about pets, as someone had recently lost a pet, and that sparked a wide-ranging and serious conversation, Haines says. “It’s quite random, and rather lovely in that sense,” she says. Haines says she’s always surprised by the routes the discussion takes. “At the start we ask people to speak and to present themselves, which is a bit of an icebreaker,” says Hillcoat-Nalletamby. Both are retired academics.Įach session is ‘hosted’ by a facilitator, but they encourage people to talk freely. “It’s very much about people feeling comfortable to bring up anything that they want to about death,” says Brigid Haines, who set up Death Cafe Cymru, along with Sarah Hillcoat-Nalletamby. ‘There’s a need to talk about death and dying’ So how do they work, and what, really is the appeal? Each session is run slightly differently, but they share a similar ethos, which is to create a space for people to discuss death in a safe and supportive environment. More than 10,000 death cafe meetings have taken place in 70 countries over the past decade. Originally set up in the UK in 2011, organisers say the objective is “to increase awareness of death, with a view to helping us make the most of our (finite) lives”.
But in fact, ‘death cafes’ have surged in popularity during the pandemic. Having a chat about death, with a cup of tea in one hand and a slice of carrot cake in the other, might sound unusual.
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